Failure to take ownership of your own actions can lead to consequences for others.
Awhile back we were having quite some difficulties with our youngest son swearing. He seemed to love the ring of it and would listen for it at school, at the beach…. wherever, and then he would practice his new words on his family whenever he was angry with us. He was in Kindergarten. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
All that to say, we tried to be careful with what we exposed him to, knowing that whatever he heard would quickly find it’s way into his vocabulary.
Around the same time we were trying to teach our middle son to take ownership for his role in a conflict. In frustration, my husband exclaimed, “you need to own your shit" within hearing of my 6-year-old. By some miracle, he had not yet learned that word and promptly asked, “what do you mean ‘own your ship’?” A good laugh in a tense moment. This has become a family motto: “Own your ship!”.
Fast forward to a discussion a friend and I were having about the following passage in 2 Samuel:
10 David was conscience-stricken after he had counted the fighting men, and he said to the Lord, “I have sinned greatly in what I have done. Now, Lord, I beg you, take away the guilt of your servant. I have done a very foolish thing.”
11 Before David got up the next morning, the word of the Lord had come to Gad the prophet, David’s seer: 12 “Go and tell David, ‘This is what the Lord says: I am giving you three options. Choose one of them for me to carry out against you.’”
13 So Gad went to David and said to him, “Shall there come on you three[b] years of famine in your land? Or three months of fleeing from your enemies while they pursue you? Or three days of plague in your land? Now then, think it over and decide how I should answer the one who sent me.”
14 David said to Gad, “I am in deep distress. Let us fall into the hands of the Lord, for his mercy is great; but do not let me fall into human hands.”
15 So the Lord sent a plague on Israel from that morning until the end of the time designated, and seventy thousand of the people from Dan to Beersheba died. 16 When the angel stretched out his hand to destroy Jerusalem, the Lord relented concerning the disaster and said to the angel who was afflicting the people, “Enough! Withdraw your hand.” The angel of the Lord was then at the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite.
17 When David saw the angel who was striking down the people, he said to the Lord, “I have sinned; I, the shepherd,[c] have done wrong. These are but sheep. What have they done? Let your hand fall on me and my family. (2 Samuel 24:10-17)
To get a bit more context, you can also read 1 Chronicles 21: 1-6, and understand that by numbering his army, David had displeased God (and his commander Joab). The reason why it displeased God is a matter of speculation, (see Exodus 30:12, perhaps David was concerned with his own military ambitions). Whatever the reason, David is presented with 3 horrible options. David selects the 3-day-pestilence and as a result 70,000 men die (likely more if you consider that women and children were generally not included in the count).
My friend and I couldn’t get over his choice. We knew they were all awful choices, but why wouldn’t David have selected being chased by his enemies? It seemed to us that this choice would have had the least effect on others. Maybe some of his army would be running with him, but surely not his people. David says he chose it because he would rather be at God’s hand rather than at the mercy of men: “do not let me fall into human hands.” I guess I kind of understand that, but do you see it? What was he concerned about? Himself. David said, "do not let me fall ...". He wasn’t looking at the cost to others, even though it was his sin that had landed the punishment. If you know about his affair with Bathsheba (see 2 Samuel) and how he had innocent men killed to cover up his sin, you know this wasn’t the first time he had only thought about himself.
We also wondered why God would have given him these choices in the first place. Perhaps it was a test to see if he would think of the cost to others. It doesn’t appear David did. And so more than 70,0000 people lost their lives. David, only then comes to his senses and finally confesses to God, “ I have sinned. What have they done? Let your hand fall on me and my family.” God hears, forgives, and lifts the pestilence.
There are a lot of big questions in this story. How could a good God send a pestilence, and did David’s crime match the punishment? I can’t answer those, but I can learn from David’s mistakes. For me, it’s a reminder to own my ship, to own my actions. I need to recognize how my actions can affect others. It begins with an acknowledgement of the part I play and a willingness to take the consequence myself, trusting the hands of a merciful God. For, I know
the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. (Proverbs 3:12)
Lord, may I be quick to confess and recognize my sin. Help me to own my ship and change course when needed. Thank you, Lord, that you don’t leave us where we are, but that in love you seek to grow us. Help me accept and learn from any consequences and discipline that come my way.
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